A troubled thought
by R3dH00d
Summary: Piper has a secret a burden. Written by DreamShadow22452 and me
1. Chapter 1

**WRITTEN BY ME AND DREAMSHADOW22452**

 **DISCLAMER: I DON`T OWN PERCY JACKSON**

The trees scrape my face as I run through the forest, making scratches on my tan skin. A black crow swoops in close to my head. I duck to avoid it but one of its ebony black feathers gets stuck in my hair. My satchel starts to slip through my fingers and I clutch at it wildly, desperate to keep its contents secret from my pursuer.

I run faster, faster, pushing myself to my limits and yet never tiring. Roots appear out of nowhere, branches reach out to grab me, and I know that Chiron's training is the only thing keeping me on my feet as I duck and dodge. I keep running through the forest. A little stream is approaching. I leap across it but my bag gets torn and the contents spill out. A purple globe falls out and lands in the stream I grab at it but the stream pushes it to follow the current. A woman's shadow appears, disappears and then reappears holding the globe. The figure laughs cruelly, then I wake up and can't help feeling a little guilty, sort of guessing at what that dream could have meant.

I'm the first one awake. I tiptoe out of bed and blindly pick out an outfit, taking care not to wake my cabin mates as I take my time getting changed in the bathroom. One of the first things you learn in the Aphrodite cabin is to use the bathroom when it's available: you never know when you'll get the chance in a cabin full of ridiculously vain beauty queens who can't seem to get enough of their reflections. I often wonder how I can possibly be related to them. I tie my hair up in a french braid and walk outside to view the sunrise. I start to walk toward the poseidon cabin then I turn to go to the the beach. I sit down on the warm sand. I look around a bit, I think I spot a figure in the low light. I go closer and yes, its seems to be the silhouette of a girl. Curious, I walk along the beach until I reach her. I turn to stand right in front of her and clear my throat, but she doesn't notice, she's too absorbed in her book. I walk around her and tap her on the shoulder, she jumps in surprise. I smile and say, "Hi, I'm Piper".

The girl looks like a deer in headlights, her eyes wide and fearful. Colour rises on her cheeks, and I can tell she wasn't expecting company. "I - I know who you are," she stutters.

It's my turn to blush. I hate being reminded of my celebrity, even though I must admit it's nice to be recognized as a hero instead of just another Aphrodite girl.

Since it would be too awkward to leave at this point, I sit down beside her in the sand. "So what's your name?"

"Alex," she whispers. I can tell that she doesn't want to talk, and it kind of makes me wish I'd gone back to my cabin instead of deciding to socialise. But I've seen the girl around camp before: her straight red hair and freckled face are a little hard to miss, despite her best efforts to remain inconspicuous. I can sympathize. And who am I kidding? I'd like a friend who's not an Aphrodite kid. Ever since Annabeth left for Camp Jupiter, I've been lonely.

"So do you do this often? Read here, I mean."

She smiles shyly and nods. "I like it here. It's peaceful."

"Until I came along and ruined it, right?"

She ducks her head to hide a smile. "It's fine," she assures me.

"I can see why you like it."

We sit in silence for a few more minutes, enjoying the view of the water, until she once again finds the courage to speak.

"So what brings you here? If you don't mind my asking, I mean."

I study her. Most of the time, I try to act tough around other campers, and I'm already instinctively coming up with a lie to explain my presence, but something about this girl makes me feel like I can tell her anything. "Nightmares," I admit. "I guess you know about those."

She nods understandingly.

"Well, since it's almost six I guess we should walk over to the mess hall." She nods and gets up, brushing sand off her pants and straightening her glasses. I find myself staring at her as we walk, noticing the way her hair falls over her face, or her mouth quirks up just slightly when I say something she must think is funny. This girl is just so peaceful and innocent, sometimes I wish my life could be simple like hers must be.

At the mess hall I open the doors, surprised so see a few other campers already there. I walk towards the Aphrodite table then look back curiously to see where Alex heads. To my surprise she sits down at the Ares table. My eyes widen in shock. The innocent looking redhead turns to look at me and I immediately try to look natural as if I'd known this all along.

After my breakfast I decide take a walk in the forest. I notice metal scraps glinting on the floor of the forest. I change my path and walk along with the metal scraps till a reach... a statue? Why would there be a statue in the forest? I see movement by the trees and turn. "Who's there?" I shout. I see a flash of fire and one of the branches erupts in flames. Confused, I take a few steps backward, thinking I should head back to camp and alert Chiron. Then I see a plump figure with a bushy beard appear for about a second before disappearing. After a bit of thought, I turn and run back to my cabin.

Now, sitting in bed, I wonder what I should do. Against my better judgement, I haven't told anyone about my find. I've drawn a picture of it in my sketchbook. My drawing skills aren't great, certainly not compared to my friend Hazel's, but I thought it was important to keep some record of it before I forgot. It is the figure of a woman dressed in silk. Her hair is long a nicely draped over her shoulder. She resembles someone I've seen before, but I can't pinpoint the image. It's definitely not my mother, that was my first thought but no, I would recognize her if it was. This statue is of a young girl, she looks as if she's around 8 years old. Suddenly, I drop my sketchbook. I know why I recognize her. That thing was a statue of me...


	2. Chapter 2

It rained tonight. I'm wet. I'm cold. My head swirls. My teeth chatter. I run. People yell. Everything goes black…

I wake up and people are bustling about, I hear one of the healers shout "She awake" as my eyes start fluttering open. I start to wake up slowly then remember what happened. We were paying capture the flag. I had the flag and was almost home when I got knocked unconscious. Suddenly I'm completely awake and aware of everything around me. I think of Jason. What why am I thinking of JasonÉ Shouldn't I be focused on my mental health or the fact that I might have a concussion! Now that I think about it there are radomin scenes of Jason clouding my head. Jason, Jason, Jason everywhere. What the heck is happening to me?

Later, when I've rested and the nurses have sent me back to my cabin, I recall the dream from the night before. The shadow. It must have been the shadow. I plan to stop my globe from glowing. "It's not working" I tell the shadow silently in my head.

"Just wait, my plan shall succeed." What? I think I might have gone a little bit crazy when I bumped my head. Did someone just talk to me inside my head? Creepy!

I'm positive I've gone insane. It's been about a week now and even before I thought I might be growing apart from Jason. My heart doesn't feel for him anymore, but my brain seems to be caught on the image. Jason is not even here. He went to visit Rome and Reyna for a bit, he's coming back in 2 days time. In the meantime I have been spending a lot of time with Alex. And she seems fun. We laugh and read together, she's gotten me interested in a lot of different book series recently.

A fighting arena is known for fighting. So I'm here waiting for my dueling partner to arrive. I can't believe I actually agreed to duel Alex. She's so innocent looking. I see her across the arena in her battle gear. She looks tougher now. Let's see if she is. At first when we step into the fighting arena I go easy. But she matches my pace so I start to fight her for real. When she still seems to have the upper hand I give it my all. She still beats me. Let is be known to never underestimate the power of Ares. Also let it be known that a fighting arena can also be used to kick butt because I just got my butt kicked. Gods, that girl hits like a truck.

I've decided to focus on the statue. Why is it there? Who put it there?. So I did some research on all of the gods, and their artistic interpretations (and I must say, all those naked statues of my mom were _quite_ traumatizing). I'm almost certain that the plump man is Hephaestus. But why would there be a statue of me when I was two years old, why?

Perhaps I should go ask Chiron. What am I thinking? I can't tell anyone! We'll maybe I could tell Alex. No, I don't think I can trust her yet...

Annabeth, Percy, Thalia, Jason, Jason, Jason, oh my gods why does my head keep wandering to him? I don't like him anymore!? Wait, what? Did I just think that? Oh my gods it's true, oh no something is definitely wrong with me, my head is clearly indicating Jason in every way! Right?

So I've been walking around camp a lot. I've been noticing boys a lot. I just don't feel attracted. When I was eight I had a giant boy crush. Oh, oh my gods that's it. I started liking boys when I was eight!


	3. Chapter 3

My brain is thinking, oh my gods, oh my gods, Jason is _here!_ My heart is thinking...well I don't know what my heart is thinking. It's probably thinking "prepare for next beat...PUMP!". It's probably thinking that. You know, sometimes I wonder if my mother created my love for Jason. I mean I had fireworks the first time we kissed. But that was the only time. Maybe all of this was my mother. Maybe she knew I might not have a thing for dudes, maybe she set up that statue to remind me, I mean come on, Hephaestus _is_ her husband after all.

I've decided to tell Alex about... well, everything, except for me thinking I'm lesbian, right? I mean that could just be a phase right? Plus I do love Jason. The only question is; Do I love him as a lover or as a brother?

So I'm standing in front of the Ares cabin. I'm nervous, but mostly scared because I can hear Clarisse, yelling at one of her siblings. Maybe I should come back later… actually, I think I'll head to the beach. I could find Alex there anyway, right?

I'm going to go to the beach when I hear a scream in the direction of the forest. I race back to my cabin, grab my fighting gear and go. You might think I'm like a hero in an action movie. I'm not. I find the screaming kid, and as it turns out, it's a young hermes kid who had set up a trap for one of the other campers, then got caught in it himself. Can you believe I was this age at one point? Gods. Anyways, I cut him down. I'm a nice person so I also inform him that this will be going to Chiron if it happened again. He nods and obediently races all the way back to the Hermes cabin. I smile at myself and start walking away.

Guess who I bumped into. Alex. Literally, I bumped into her. I was looking back in the direction of the forest. Alex had her nose in a book (per usual). The thing is, neither of us were looking ahead and BAM! Collision. "Oh, Alex!" I say, surprised.

She smiles (not a shy smile, a real one. We're improving, I think?

"Oh, hi there! Didn't see you" she exclaims

She continues, "So I, um, had something to tell you, since, you know, we're friends and all...Well, here goes. I have a feeling of strong liking towards a girl."

"Oh! So you… um, you like girls" I reply.

"Um… yeah, I, uh… I thought you knew, well, at least a little" she replies shyly.

"Well, kinda" I reply, trying not to sound too awkward.

"Uh, well, since you're a daughter of Aphrodite I thought you might be able to help..."

"Oh, really? How?"

"I don't know... just… do you know what I should do?." she asks, exasperated.

Whoops, I think forgot to tell her. Anyways, she is lesbian. The only problem is that she likes someone. Wait, this is a good thing, right?. I mean, I'm not sure, and besides, who says I would be into her?

Ugh, me. I say it. She so cute, fierce and innocent with her beautiful eyes and her books. Oh my gods, I think I'm falling for someone again. This is bad, this is verry bad. Jason is coming today for the gods' sake. What do I do? I can't tell mother. She's the immortal goddess of fertility, I doubt she approves of this kind of thing. I can't tell Alex, that would be awkward. I definitely can't tell Jason. Oh, oh no, Jason, I have to break up with him, this is bad, this is really bad.

But do I really have to break up with him? I mean, this could just be a phase, right? Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe all this stuff with the statues and weird dreams are getting to me. I could just be imagining things. I definitely know I used to have feelings for Jason, and that kind of love doesn't just disappear overnight.

Except that I couldn't possibly have imagined my feelings for Alex. The way I feel every time I see her… that's the way I used to feel around Jason all the time. Oh my gods, I'm falling for a girl.

And Jason… I don't really want to break up with him. I know that things aren't right between us, but I do care about him in a way, even if my feelings are more platonic than romantic now. I can't bear to break his heart, just picturing his pretty face with that adorable little scar and those puppy dog eyes makes me hate myself for even considering hurting him. I've always wanted to protect Jason, and now I'm going to be the one causing him pain.

Somehow, I doubt my cabin mates will be thrilled to learn that I've completed my rite of passage and broken a boy's heart.


	4. Chapter 4

HI GUYS, SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE THE LATE UPDATE BUT I JUST HAVEN'T FELT INSPIRED PLUS THE LACK OF COMMENTS IT'S KINDA BORING SO MY SOLUTION WAS TO LET MY COWORKER DREAMSHADOW WRITE THE ENTIRE CHAPTER

AND SHE'S PRETTY AWESOME SO CHECK OUT HER OTHER WORK SINCE SHE'S HAS BEEN IN THIS BUSINESS LONGER THAN I HAVE.

Normally, the sight of my boyfriend walking through the door of my cabin would fill me with joy. I would jump into his arms and tell him how much I missed him just like the lovesick Aphrodite girl I sometimes can be. I hate that even alone in my cabin, all I can muster is a halfhearted smile.

"Jason." I announce unenthusiastically.

"Piper." He mimics my tone, and beams. Oh my gods, the poor guy thinks I'm joking.

"I'm glad to see you," he continues. The smile fades when he realizes I'm serious. "Is… something wrong?"

I shake my head instinctively, and mentally kick myself. Dammit, Piper! You're tougher than this!

"Actually, yes. Something's wrong." I hate this, I hate this, I hate this…

Visibly concerned, he crosses the room until he's standing right in front of me, and takes my hand. "Well, is there anything I can do to help? You know I'm here for you, Pipes-"

"No. There's nothing you can do. Or maybe there is. Sort of. I don't know." This is hard.

"Well, are you at least going to tell me what it is?"

"Ithinkweshouldbreakup" I blurt out in one breath.

He takes a step back. "What?"

"This. You and me... It's... It's not working," I tell my shoes.

It's a long time before he responds. "I had no idea you felt that way."

"Well, I do."

"I don't."

"I know. That's why this is so hard."

"Pipes… are you sure? I mean, if it's something I did…"

"No, no, no. It's not you. I'm just not interested anymore. I don't know why. I've been having these dreams-"

"Dreams? You're breaking up with me because of dreams?" I hate the desperation in his tone, as he clings to any hope that this might not be real.

"No. I'm breaking up with you because I don't think I'm into guys anymore."

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop to wonder whether it's a good idea to tell him. I guess I'm just so used to telling Jason everything that I can't help myself. Well, no going back now.

"You mean you're…"

"Into girls? Yeah. I think so."

"Oh."

"I wasn't sure until recently, and then I had these dreams, and I met this girl-"

"You met someone?" He looks so hurt. Oh gods this is exactly what I was afraid of.

"Yeah. I'm so sorry, Jason. If it makes you feel any better, I still want to be friends."

"Friends." The word sounds so empty on his lips. "Yeah. Okay."

"Look, I really don't want to hurt you. Do you want to go for a walk or something? Talk it out?"

"Thanks, but… maybe later. I just need to be alone for a bit."

He walks out, and I feel horrible. I can't believe I just did that to someone I care so much about. I want to run after him, tell him everything will be alright, just like I used to do all the time, but I know I can't. This isn't something I can help him with, because I'm the one causing him this pain. That's the worst feeling of all.

I spend about an hour moping in my room, until I can't take it anymore and go looking for Jason. I find him sitting under a tree.

"Jason ... I love you."

"What?" He gives me a painfully hopeful look until he sees my expression. There are tears streaming down his face. Jason never cries. "Piper, don't do this. Just stop. I know you don't love me, you just broke my heart."

"I do, Jason. I really do love you… just not like I used to."

"So you don't love me."

"I do, as a brother"

"...Oh."

"I know it's not enough for you. It might never be enough. But I want you in my life, Jason. I need you. I don't know how to be… a demigod, a hero, without you. You've been with me from day one, and I'm not even sure I know who I am without you"

"I know who you are, Pipes. You're a hero, with or without me." His face is so full of love, even after all the pain I've caused him, it breaks my heart.

I kneel in front of him, and grab his hands. "I don't want to be a hero without you. Please, can we stay friends?"

He looks down. "I know it's unfair for me to act like this when I know it's not something you can control. You're clearly going through a tough time, and I want to help you, Pipes. I want to be there for you, but it's too soon. I'm still in love with you, and at the moment I can't think of being with you in a different way. Just give me some time, okay? Then we can talk about being friends."

I nod and silently stand up, leaving Jason under the tree as I walk back toward the camp. I don't know how I'm going to explain this. Everyone will know, the moment they see us tomorrow morning. They'll see us avoiding each other and wonder what's going on, then they'll see Jason's face and know what happened. It's the same thing every time a couple breaks up at camp, but we've never had a breakup of a couple as famous as me and Jason before. I'll probably be swarmed by the other campers, everyone demanding answers, and I have no idea what I'm going to say. I can't just go out and tell the truth, but I know I'll have to answer to my friends soon enough. I don't know how I'll tell mother, or Annabeth, but I'll figure it out… somehow.


End file.
